Joy Ride *Narcissistic Divorce*

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In honor of throwback Thursday, I decided to post this poem I wrote while going through a tough divorce. I later found out that what I was describing was done by the hands of a narcissist.

———————————————–

The least you could do is open up
let me in to strap in
securing me before this roller coaster ride began
What is the point in riding a roller coaster with the
curves
dips
loops
lows
highs
twist
if you won’t allow me to amaze you with my frightened expressions
have me wondering if I’ll be in heaven
Is this coaster designed personally with me in mind?
Well, if I had to name this roller coaster it would be “Joy Ride”
The adrenaline
panic,
and uncertainty as the tracks of your vindictive captivity
takes me higher
gives me false hope that maybe this is the last my loved ones will see of me
As the ride drops, I feel my bottom rise out the seat
My mind fills with rusty track fantasies,
maybe then I will fall to my death where I’m free.
But, even as I’m thrown for loop after loop,
the possibility of this thing ending seems unseen.
This ride is not fun for me.
As you stand in security,
do I give you wet dreams knowing I’m alone and scared up on this thing?
Will you ever be satisfied with twisting me until I can hardly see?
The pride you have in this masterpiece is so easy to be seen,
but fake modesty creeps up and you won’t take responsibility for what seems to be a “Joy Ride” catastrophe.
At this point the ride has taken on new highs and lows, that you can’t even control.
Leaving me desperate as to who will be the one to release me from the hold
of your vengeful anger.
Even when I try to sit and take it;
this tactic makes you want to turn up the pace, til I can’t see my own face.
The normalcy of this ride is now boring me
and here I am pleading.
Please let me off this thing so I can do me and live my life happily.

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